Rest in Him: Guest Blogger: Stephanie

Job 39:11
"He's hugely strong, yes, but could you trust him, would you dare turn the job over to him?" In this new season that I am entering I am finding out that it is very exhausting and demanding. There really isn't a thing called "rest" in my week. Well not the rest that most people consider rest. With my M/W
nights spent at school and Tuesday cell, my nights are pretty jammed
pack. Midnight is becoming a very common hour to me now. Last night
was the first night my daughter really has seen me all week and I was
sooo tired that the attention I was giving her I know isn't what she
wanted or needed at that time. Soo much is going on that my brain
never wants to shut down.

The fear of not being a good student is creeping in...and the fear of
that Cali is thinking that I am rejecting her because Mommy is always
at work and school. I told her the other day that the reason why Mommy
is going to school is because I am becoming a teacher. And she smiled
at me and said, "I want to hold the stick Mommy and I'll point to the
numbers and you say them out loud." It was the cutest thing...she went
on saying who was going to be in our class and sit in the desks. As I
listen to her say all of this, I wish she could REALLY know why Mommy
is going to school and works at a good job...I want the best for Cali
and I want to be a good role model that she can look up to and say
someday, "Hey my Mom did this, so can I." or "Thank you Mom for
keeping me when you knew you were going to be a Single parent." As I
sit in my classes at night wishing I could be home with her I look at
my phone with a pic of her on it and I have to remind myself that I am
doing this for not only my future but for hers too. So many thoughts
race through my mind if I'm really doing the right thing. It's soo
easy to give up and say I can't do school. But like the verse says,
"Do you dare to turn the job over to HIM? Do you trust HIM??" Do I
trust God in this season?? Am I putting limitations on what God is
capable of doing??

Oh Lord please help me rely on your strength and not my own. Teach me
how to be excellent in this new season. I break off all these fears in
Jesus name. I am NEW in you!! I am an Excellent student, worker,
leader and Mother! Jesus protect Cali in this season and help me think
of creative "special" dates to have with her, so she knows that she is
my pride and joy always. I cast my burdens on you Lord and leave them
at your feet Jesus. You are bigger than this season Lord!!! Teach me
what you want me to learn through all of this Lord. Help me not to
complain. Give me strength when I am weary Lord. I love you Lord!!!